Finding Your Fish In The Sea – Unlocking The Secrets To Dating App Success
Join KEZIAH CHUAH and NOORAISHAH KARIM as they guide you through the world of dating apps, offering insights on making a connection safely and increasing your chances of finding ‘the one’.
Hype Issue #58
November 29, 2023
Photo taken from Bumble, OKC, Hinge and Tinder.
With the plethora of dating apps today, it’s highly likely that most youths would have already dabbled in or at least heard of these digital platforms. In Singapore, Tinder, Bumble, Tantan, OkCupid, and Hinge reign supreme as the top 5 go-to dating apps according to Statistica. Have you ever contemplated downloading one of these apps? If yes, here’s a thoughtfully curated guide to kickstart your online dating adventures!
It All Starts With The Right Mindset
Embarking on the adventure of dating apps is all about keeping the vibe fun and carefree. First off, ditch those high expectations; it’s all part of the unpredictable ride! This allows you to stay open-minded, and, who knows? You might just stumble upon some unexpectedly awesome connections.
Secondly, don’t let the chat initiation jitters get to you; dive into conversations like you’re starting a game of banter. This allows you to get to know the other person better and help ease the awkwardness! Most importantly, clarify your dating game plan upfront – whether it’s a breezy fling or a quest for the long haul. Your mindset sets the tone for the entire dating app journey, be it more serious or just for fun!
How To Set Up Your Profile
Photo by Teo Hui Ying.
After you’ve downloaded your chosen app, you might wonder how to create the most attractive profile. First, choose three to five flattering pictures of yourself. It’s hard to admit, but looks do matter to most people. According to Skylum’s “Swipe Right” report, 40% of dating apps users are more likely to swipe right on better photos. So, don’t be afraid to ask for your friends’ help to pick your best pics; having a second opinion is incredibly helpful.
Tips for choosing good pictures:
- Don’t use old photos of yourself as you may look different now
- Avoid group shots – This is not a guessing game
- Avoid sticking to mirror selfies; include a variety of different poses, angles, and activities
Next, write a short description of yourself and any fun facts you’re willing to share. Add conversation-starting prompts to increase your chances of getting replies. Always keep in mind that while looks might attract, it’s personality that makes people stay. Avoid overused prompts such as “I love sleeping” or “my current obsession is you”. That’s just plain boring! Lastly, set your dating preferences – age, gender, and location for the perfect lineup.
Here’s a tip for starting a convo: Pay attention to the details of his/her profile and ask specific questions to understand him/her on a more personal level.
Now that you’ve set up your profile, start swiping for your dream partner! Be sure to take note of their intentions to prevent misunderstandings and beware of catfishes. Just remember to keep things appropriate or you might make the other person less appealing or get banned from the app before you can make a genuine connection.
Photo taken from Canva.
How To Keep Yourself Safe
Navigating the dating app scene is thrilling, but it comes with its share of cautions. Beware of “love bombers” – those who shower you with excessive affection and admiration. It’s important to take things slow to spot genuine connections. Here are some other red flags you should watch out for.
Firstly, guard against gaslighters who’d try to manipulate your feelings or sow self-doubt – if something feels off, it probably is. Gaslighters according to Oxford Languages refers to, “a person who uses psychological methods to manipulate someone into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.” If they make you feel insecure or even just uncomfortable about who you are, stay away! Remember that it’s perfectly fine to unapologetically be you! Secondly, if someone asks for explicit images, just say no. Establish boundaries, and remember, consent is key. Thirdly, if they suggest coming over for a first date, that’s a huge red flag, please run as they might have sinister intentions. Lastly, before planning that dream date, check for signs of catfishing by scrutinising their social media or Telegram profiles. A virtual double-check helps to ensure that you’re not in for a nasty surprise.
When it comes to staying safe on dating apps, it is important to stay alert, say no when needed, and let your instincts be your guide through the digital dating maze. A little caution ensures the journey is not only thrilling, but also safe and enjoyable.
Photo by Nooraishah Karim.
What To Do On A Date
Photo taken from Canva.
Congratulations on reaching the ‘beyond talking’ stage! When prepping for the date, remember the golden rule: dress to impress! Leave the messy hair, slippers, and any questionable odours at home. As you know from the section on safety above, you’ll always want to meet somewhere public for your first date. Although tradition dictates that they foot the first-date bill if they asked you on a date, girls, feel free to suggest splitting the bill as part of etiquette
Remember to firmly decline any unwanted moves and don’t be afraid to say no. It bears repeating that setting clear boundaries is essential, and if someone doesn’t respect them, you’re allowed to bail.
Exploring the realm of app-based dating demands fun and open-mindedness. The unpredictability of the journey necessitates shedding high expectations and embracing each swipe as a chance for a delightful surprise. Initiating conversations requires a keen eye for profile details and the art of asking specific questions. However, safety should never be compromised. Take caution against love bombers and gaslighters, to ensure a safe digital dating experience. As the journey transitions from virtual to real encounters, prioritising safety still remains key. Choosing public spaces, respecting boundaries, and recognising red flags contribute to a secure and enjoyable dating experience. In this digital maze, a blend of a carefree attitude and cautious awareness creates the perfect balance for a fun journey.