{"id":8082,"date":"2022-01-27T04:48:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-26T20:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/?p=8082"},"modified":"2025-11-26T11:31:42","modified_gmt":"2025-11-26T03:31:42","slug":"the-middle-child-more-than-just-forgotten","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/index.php\/2022\/01\/27\/the-middle-child-more-than-just-forgotten\/","title":{"rendered":"The Middle Child: More Than Just Forgotten"},"content":{"rendered":"

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Header” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_image=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/middle-child-syndrome-alfred-adler-birth-order-neglected-less-attention-middle-child-treated-differently-scaled.jpg” parallax=”on” width=”100%” min_height=”100px” custom_margin=”-12px||213px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”-50px||194px||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”8vw|1px|0|0px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”rgba(10,10,10,0.49)” transform_translate_linked=”off” min_height=”192px” custom_margin=”204px|auto|150px|auto|false|false” custom_padding=”20px|48px|20px|48px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|700|||||||” text_text_color=”#ffffff” text_font_size=”50px” text_line_height=”1.2em” header_font=”Raleway|700|||||||” header_font_size=”80px” header_5_font=”Raleway|700||on|||||” header_5_text_color=”#000000″ header_5_font_size=”20px” header_5_letter_spacing=”0.5em” header_5_line_height=”1.8em” custom_margin=”8px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”||0px|||” animation_style=”zoom” animation_intensity_zoom=”5%” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”29px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” text_line_height_tablet=”” text_line_height_phone=”1.3em” text_line_height_last_edited=”on|phone” header_font_size_tablet=”48px” header_font_size_phone=”32px” header_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” header_5_font_size_tablet=”14px” header_5_font_size_phone=”12px” header_5_font_size_last_edited=”on|desktop” text_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ inline_fonts=”Montserrat” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

The Middle Child: More Than Just Forgotten<\/b><\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|500|||||||” text_text_color=”#ffffff” text_font_size=”15px” header_font=”Montserrat||||||||” header_font_size=”80px” header_5_font=”Raleway|700||on|||||” header_5_text_color=”#000000″ header_5_font_size=”20px” header_5_letter_spacing=”0.5em” header_5_line_height=”1.8em” min_height=”0px” custom_margin=”15px|129px|4px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”9px|0px|||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”|0px|||false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”” custom_padding_phone=”|0px|||false|false” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” animation_style=”zoom” animation_intensity_zoom=”5%” text_line_height_tablet=”” text_line_height_phone=”1.8em” text_line_height_last_edited=”on|phone” header_font_size_tablet=”48px” header_font_size_phone=”32px” header_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” header_5_font_size_tablet=”14px” header_5_font_size_phone=”12px” header_5_font_size_last_edited=”on|desktop” text_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ inline_fonts=”Montserrat” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Some believe it\u2019s a myth, yet others have gone through the implications of Middle-Child Syndrome firsthand. Htet Htet Nay Aung<\/strong> explores how this syndrome has affected the childhood and development of youths.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin=”-194px|||||” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”-170px||||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ min_height=”84px” custom_margin=”-67px|auto||auto||” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”-75px|auto|-100px|auto|false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|300|||||||” transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-22px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_margin=”6px||||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”14px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”]Middle-Child Syndrome, despite not being an official medical diagnosis, has heavily impacted the lives of many middle children. Photo by Htet Htet Nay Aung.[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”About Us” _builder_version=”4.16″ transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”0px|48px” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_translate_linked_phone=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|phone” min_height=”1463px” custom_margin=”-136px||-385px|||” custom_padding=”90px|||||” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_5,3_5,1_5″ custom_padding_last_edited=”off|desktop” _builder_version=”4.16″ transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-53px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_padding=”27px|0|27px|0px|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”|0px||0px||true” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat||||||||” text_font_size=”15px” text_line_height=”1.4em” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”Raleway|700|||||||” header_2_font_size=”50px” header_2_line_height=”1.4em” header_5_font=”Montserrat||||||||” header_5_text_color=”#b3b3b3″ header_5_font_size=”14px” header_5_line_height=”0.5em” header_6_font=”Raleway|700||on|||||” header_6_font_size=”16px” header_6_letter_spacing=”5px” header_6_line_height=”1.8em” max_width=”659px” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”4px|79px|104px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”15px|79px|0px||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_padding=”|0px||||” header_2_font_size_tablet=”35px” header_2_font_size_phone=”25px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BY
Htet Htet Nay Aung
People and npTribune Section Editor
Hype Issue #54<\/b><\/p>\n

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Published on<\/h5>\n
January 27, 2022<\/h5>\n

[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”Raleway|700|||||||” header_2_font_size=”50px” header_2_line_height=”1.4em” header_6_font=”Raleway|700||on|||||” header_6_font_size=”16px” header_6_letter_spacing=”5px” header_6_line_height=”1.8em” max_width=”1320px” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”36px|-415px|0px|-616px|false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_padding=”|0px|0px|0px||” header_2_font_size_tablet=”35px” header_2_font_size_phone=”25px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve ever found yourself relating to Edmund from<\/span> The Chronicles of Narnia<\/span><\/i> or Alex Dunphy from<\/span> Modern Family, <\/span><\/i>congratulations! You might have experienced something called <\/span>Middle-Child Syndrome<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/sidebar.png” alt=”middle-child-syndrome-definition” title_text=”middle-child-syndrome-definition” force_fullwidth=”on” disabled_on=”off|off|on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”25px||||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”Raleway|700|||||||” header_2_font_size=”50px” header_2_line_height=”1.4em” header_6_font=”Raleway|700||on|||||” header_6_font_size=”16px” header_6_letter_spacing=”5px” header_6_line_height=”1.8em” max_width=”1320px” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”18px|-415px||-616px|false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”-3px||||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_padding=”|0px|0px|0px||” header_2_font_size_tablet=”35px” header_2_font_size_phone=”25px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Alfred Alder<\/span><\/a>, a 20th century psychologist, had a <\/span>theory<\/span><\/a> that the birth order of children correlates closely with their development and personality. He believed that the middle child often gets overshadowed by or are more neglected compared to their older and younger siblings.<\/span><\/p>\n

According to this theory, he stated that although children may be brought up in the same environment with the same teachings, their birth order could heavily influence their individual experience and personality.<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/middle-child-syndrome-neglected-less-attention-second-born-birth-order-left-out-feel-sad.jpeg” alt=”middle-child-syndrome-neglected-less-attention-second-born-birth-order-left-out-feel-sad” title_text=”middle-child-syndrome-neglected-less-attention-second-born-birth-order-left-out-feel-sad” align=”center” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin=”-8px||||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|300|||||||” transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-22px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_margin=”34px||-5px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||||false|false” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”14px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

While the oldest is deemed the \u201cgolden child\u201d and the youngest gets pampered the most, the middle child is often neglected in the process, with nowhere to fit in. Photo taken from Wrytin<\/a>.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” custom_margin=”2px||-1px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_padding=”||14px|||” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Since Middle-Child Syndrome is not an official medical diagnosis but instead a study of behavioural patterns over the years, it is not hard for people to express scepticism towards it.<\/p>\n

\u201cMiddle-Child Syndrome is not a mental condition under the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), and is currently listed as a hypothetical condition by the American Psychological Association (APA),\u201d says Mr Maximillian Chen, a clinical psychologist in Singapore.<\/p>\n

However, individual experiences can differ. For middle children who have had a first class seat to this experience growing up, explanatory articles and countless studies on the internet may never do them justice.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that I didn’t feel loved but I always saw that my siblings got [loved] more,\u201d says James Koh, 22.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_testimonial author=”- James Koh, 22″ _builder_version=”4.16″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]It\u2019s not that I didn’t feel loved but I always saw that my siblings got [loved] more.[\/et_pb_testimonial][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/middle-child-syndrome-family-older-sibling-younger-sibling-inferior-rebellious-childhood.jpg” alt=”middle-child-syndrome-family-older-sibling-younger-sibling-inferior-rebellious-childhood” title_text=”middle-child-syndrome-family-older-sibling-younger-sibling-inferior-rebellious-childhood” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin=”-6px||||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|300|||||||” transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-22px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_margin=”34px||0px||false|false” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”14px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”]James (bottom left) always felt that his older sister and younger brother got more attention than him, which left him wondering why on many occasions. Photo courtesy of James.[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” custom_margin=”-6px||-1px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

While his sister was crowned as the family\u2019s smart, \u201cperfect\u201d first child and his brother, the most doted upon, James always felt like he had no place in the family growing up.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne thing that really angered me when I was younger was that I saw there was only a picture of my sister and brother in my mom\u2019s room,\u201d he recalls.<\/p>\n

Middle children often struggle with the feeling of being neglected<\/a> as they feel the amount of attention and love they receive from their parents always falls short as compared to their siblings.<\/p>\n

According to prior research and observations, Mr Chen points out that \u201cyouths with Middle-Child Syndrome may tend towards being rebellious to get more attention\u201d, however some of them may also tend to be \u201cthe peacemaker in relationships and display more people-pleasing behaviours\u201d.<\/p>\n

James was undoubtedly the former as the feeling of inferiority, self doubt and rebellion started at a young age for James.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/middle-child-syndrome-second-child-middle-child-neglected-childhood-less-attention.jpg” alt=”middle-child-syndrome-second-child-middle-child-neglected-childhood-less-attention” title_text=”middle-child-syndrome-second-child-middle-child-neglected-childhood-less-attention” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin=”21px||||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|300|||||||” transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-22px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_margin=”31px||0px||false|false” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”14px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]James (right) recalled feeling like his achievements and behaviour were only subpar to his older sister (left). Photo courtesy of James.[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” custom_margin=”-4px||-1px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

His older sister and younger brother both got into the Express stream in secondary school while he made it to the Normal Academic (NA) stream. It often led him to wonder if his pace of learning was the result of not being given the same amount of attention and opportunities to take part in their family outings.<\/p>\n

While he was stuck in endless tuition classes, his siblings had multiple opportunities to bond with their parents during family activities which he was not a part of.<\/p>\n

Although the possibility that all of this could have been coincidental as his parents claimed that \u201cthey love everyone equally\u201d, young James could not escape the heavy weight of feeling like he \u201chad to prove to [his] parents that [he] was good enough\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe eldest child is often the first to reach milestones and hence parents would pay attention to the eldest at these times. When the youngest child is born, parents would naturally show more care and attention to them as they are likely to be less independent\u2026 As a result, the middle child may feel like he or she gets less attention from their parents,\u201d says Mr Chen.<\/p>\n

Due to this pattern of exclusion and lack of attention, many middle children start to seek comfort in other social circles<\/a>, particularly their friends.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/middle-child-syndrome-older-sibling-younger-sibling-middle-child-left-out.jpg” alt=”middle-child-syndrome-older-sibling-younger-sibling-middle-child-left-out” title_text=”middle-child-syndrome-older-sibling-younger-sibling-middle-child-left-out” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin=”22px||||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|300|||||||” transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-22px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_margin=”31px||0px||false|false” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”14px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Norish Khairina (extreme left) started noticing the common characteristics of children who have middle child syndrome in herself and those around her. Photo courtesy of Norish.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” header_3_font=”Montserrat|600||||||#e02b20|” header_3_text_align=”left” header_3_text_color=”#233956″ header_3_font_size=”24px” header_3_line_height=”1.5em” custom_margin=”-8px||28px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Similarly, Norish Khairina, 23, found herself in a similar situation as the black sheep of the family.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy brother always got away with most things, maybe it is because he is the first child, the obedient child; and my sister has never been beaten by my parents before\u2026 I felt like no one in the family got me,\u201d says Norish.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_testimonial author=”- Norish Khairina, 23″ job_title=”Early childhood educator” _builder_version=”4.16″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]My brother always got away with most things, maybe it is because he is the first child, the obedient child; and my sister has never been beaten by my parents before\u2026 I felt like no one in the family got me.[\/et_pb_testimonial][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” header_3_font=”Montserrat|600||||||#e02b20|” header_3_text_align=”left” header_3_text_color=”#233956″ header_3_font_size=”24px” header_3_line_height=”1.5em” custom_margin=”-10px||28px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” global_colors_info=”{}”]The term ‘middle child syndrome\u2019 was never foreign to Norish as the similarities between her and other middle children in her family were always brought up during gatherings. [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/middle-child-growing-up-teenage-years-sad-rebel-left-behind-neglected.jpg” alt=”middle-child-growing-up-teenage-years-sad-rebel-left-behind-neglected” title_text=”middle-child-growing-up-teenage-years-sad-rebel-left-behind-neglected” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin=”-10px||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|300|||||||” transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-22px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_margin=”31px||-5px||false|false” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”14px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”]James (extreme right) stayed behind in Singapore alone for a year as a teenager while his older sister and younger brother lived with their mother in Melbourne, Australia. Photo courtesy of James.[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” header_3_font=”Montserrat|600||||||#e02b20|” header_3_text_align=”left” header_3_text_color=”#233956″ header_3_font_size=”24px” header_3_line_height=”1.5em” global_colors_info=”{}”]\u201cIn my mom and dad\u2019s perspective, I\u2019m the guy who doesn’t want to spend time with the family\u2026 But I feel like it\u2019s because they didn\u2019t give me the chance to,\u201d says James.[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/middle-child-younger-sister-middle-child-syndrome-growing-up-childhood.jpg” alt=”middle-child-younger-sister-middle-child-syndrome-growing-up-childhood” title_text=”middle-child-younger-sister-middle-child-syndrome-growing-up-childhood” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin=”-10px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|300|||||||” transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-22px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_margin=”31px||0px||false|false” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”14px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”]Norish (right) would make an effort to spend time with her family even though she was more comfortable hanging out with her friends as her family fostered a family-oriented culture. Photo courtesy of Norish.[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” custom_margin=”-2px||-1px|||” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

As compared to her siblings who were more comfortable around her family, Norish always kept her problems and feelings to herself as she was afraid that \u201cit would backfire when they don\u2019t get it\u201d, furthering the belief that she was the root cause of all of the issues in the family.<\/p>\n

Paired with her non-confrontational attitude, Norish found it difficult to speak up for herself and find a voice in the family which often resulted in her hiding in her room, away from everyone else.<\/p>\n

\u201cThese behaviours can be displayed by others who are not middle children as well. The evidence behind the existence of middle child syndrome is still ambiguous,\u201d Mr Chen points out, saying that he has dealt with youths who exhibit similar behaviours to Norish and James.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/middle-child-second-born-birth-order-middle-child-syndrome-childhood-picture.jpg” alt=”middle-child-second-born-birth-order-middle-child-syndrome-childhood-picture” title_text=”middle-child-second-born-birth-order-middle-child-syndrome-childhood-picture” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin=”19px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|300|||||||” transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-22px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_margin=”31px||0px||false|false” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”14px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”]Unlike her siblings, Norish (right) has never been one to open up to her parents and build a stronger bond. Photo courtesy of Norish.[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” custom_margin=”-2px||-1px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

\u201cI used to get upset when I was younger because I felt like my family didn\u2019t love me\u2026 But as I grew up, I kinda got used to it and no longer get upset over it,\u201d says Norish.<\/p>\n

As an early childhood educator, Norish has found a deeper understanding of this phenomenon, as well as herself. Norish easily falls into the common category of being the \u201cpeacemaker\u201d amongst middle children and feels fine where she is, even if her family thinks otherwise.<\/p>\n

Today, James has made peace with the rebellious and angry inner child in him and has accepted the abundant independence and resilience that he has developed over the years.<\/p>\n

Although his experience may have been rougher than those of his siblings\u2019, he believes that this journey has heavily influenced the person he has become.<\/p>\n

As young adults, both James and Norish have come to terms with the emotions and troubles they dealt with during their childhood and have simply gotten \u201cused to it\u201d.<\/p>\n

But does this mean that the implications stop there? Unquestionably not. Whether or not their birth order had any influence on their personalities in adulthood, the experience that they\u2019ve had over the years has shaped who they are today, for better or for worse.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhile being a middle child can have a significant impact on one\u2019s development or personality, this impact can either be positive or negative,\u201d says Mr Chen.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_testimonial author=”- Mr Maximillian Chen” job_title=”Clinical psychologist” _builder_version=”4.16″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

While being a middle child can have a significant impact on one\u2019s development or personality, this impact can either be positive or negative.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_testimonial][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” custom_margin=”-36px||-20px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_padding=”27px|||||” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]Positive and negative personality traits can be very subjective. However, like many other middle children out there, James and Norish have discovered very intricate and uplifting parts of their personalities as they stepped into adulthood.[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/parents-child-negative-traits-acting-out-reprimanding-shutting-out-rebel-scolding-building-up-walls-no-communication.jpeg” alt=”parents-child-negative-traits-acting-out-reprimanding-shutting-out-rebel-scolding-building-up-walls-no-communication” title_text=”parents-child-negative-traits-acting-out-reprimanding-shutting-out-rebel-scolding-building-up-walls-no-communication” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_margin=”37px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Montserrat|300|||||||” transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate=”0px|-22px” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_translate_linked=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|desktop” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_margin=”31px|||||” text_font_size_tablet=”” text_font_size_phone=”14px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Parents may sometimes be too focused on the negative traits in middle children that they might forget to evaluate the causes behind such behaviour. Photo taken from The Guardian<\/a>.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” min_height=”243px” custom_margin=”-34px||21px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

There are always two sides to the same coin. Are children to blame for acting out because they are unable to handle the complexity of certain situations? Or should parents be more aware of how their actions affect the upbringing and development of their child?<\/p>\n

\u201cI think parents tend to focus a lot on their child\u2019s unwanted behaviour and try to fix it through scolding or punishments. Parents are not often aware of the factors that can contribute to their children\u2019s negative behaviours, such as parenting styles and birth order,\u201d say Mr Chen.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_testimonial author=”- Mr Maximillian Chen” job_title=”Clinical psychologist” _builder_version=”4.16″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]I think parents tend to focus a lot on their child\u2019s unwanted behaviour and try to fix it through scolding or punishments. Parents are not often aware of the factors that can contribute to their children\u2019s negative behaviours, such as parenting styles and birth order.[\/et_pb_testimonial][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”Libre Caslon Text||||||||” text_font_size=”16px” text_line_height=”2em” min_height=”243px” custom_margin=”-4px||-1px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n

Due to this, many parents fail to take a step back and look at the bigger picture: the cause and effect of their actions and words. While many are aware of Middle-Child Syndrome and its complications, they simply do not believe in it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish my parents would have just acknowledged what I was going through; it would have made me feel a lot better about myself,\u201d says James.<\/p>\n

Although Middle-Child Syndrome and birth order aren\u2019t the main factors contributing to how a child develops, the experiences that they go through plays a huge role, and so do their parents.<\/p>\n

In order to work on a relationship between a middle child and their parent, effort is needed from both parties to understand each other better and to patch up past wounds. Acknowledging the child\u2019s emotions and experiences could form a bridge that helps many middle children to express their feelings fearlessly, and eventually might put them at peace with their families and inner child.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_comments _builder_version=”4.16″ transform_scale_tablet=”” transform_scale_phone=”” transform_scale_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_translate_tablet=”” transform_translate_phone=”0px|-51px” transform_translate_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_translate_linked_phone=”off” transform_rotate_tablet=”” transform_rotate_phone=”” transform_rotate_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_skew_tablet=”” transform_skew_phone=”” transform_skew_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_origin_tablet=”” transform_origin_phone=”” transform_origin_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_margin=”120px|||||” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”110px||400px||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|phone” transform_styles_tablet=”” transform_styles_phone=”” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_comments][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_5″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/hypesingapore.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/sidebar.png” alt=”middle-child-syndrome-definition” title_text=”middle-child-syndrome-definition” url_new_window=”on” show_bottom_space=”off” force_fullwidth=”on” disabled_on=”on|on|off” _builder_version=”4.16″ transform_scale=”159%|159%” transform_translate=”37px|69px” transform_translate_linked=”off” custom_margin=”0px||||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some believe it\u2019s a myth, yet others have gone through the implications of Middle-Child Syndrome firsthand. 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